If you, like me, spent the last week getting messed up celebrating v important calendar dates such as the Kentucky Derby and Cinco de Mayo then, first of all, I applaud you. Second of all, please tell me your skin is as messed up as mine is rn. Im truly only astonished that my skin only sabotages me every once in a while considering all of the shit I set it through on a daily basis. Ensure, I like to do this thing where I treat myself sevenish days of the weekits sort of like playing Russian roulette with my skin but instead of bullets its massive amounts of alcohol and pizza. I know, Im a peach. ANYWAY, I am sure Im not alone out there so because Im feeling charitable and also because Im already counting down the minutes until its 5pm and socially acceptable to open wine, heres a list of the best alcohol and face mask pairings to get you started on your happy hour skin care journey.
1. Champagne+ Bubbles Mask
Get it? Im pairing bubbles with bubbles? Okay , not super original SO SUE ME. But this will look v cute on Instagram and isnt that really everyone is striving for here? Try E.L.Fs Hydrating Bubble Mask for a frothy face mask that’s more fun than a Snapchat filter and the committee is also nourishes the fuck out of your skin.
2. Cosmopolitan+ Detox Mask
This is for all my city girls out there who have to deal with garbage humen who literally shit on public transport( seriously, I saw this happen once ). A detox mask is the perfect route to freshen your skin after a long week of dealing with sociopaths on the subway, and we suggest use Caudalie Instant Detox Mask including with regard to. The natural clay ingredients give your skin a deep cleanse while also leaving your face smooth and your complexion even. And before you start talking shit, I know no one drinks Cosmopolitan anymore because its not the year 2000, but Im suggesting this pairing anyways because it seems v sad to stimulate yourself a vodka cran to Netflix and cold … alone. Just saying.
3. Boxed Wine+ Peel Off Mask
Im not sure who still drinks wine out of a box, but Im assuming its the same person who buys their face masks from the sales segment at Walmart. I assume. Masque Bar Luminizing Charcoal Peel Off Mask is going to be your go-to mask. Both this mask and boxed wine are cheap AF but still v effective and will get the job done during desperate, desperate times.
4. Bordeaux+ Clay Mask
Bordeaux were legit stimulated for drinking in a clay mask. Theyre full-bodied and earthy just like the shit youre putting on your face rn. This is the kind of shit someone like, tell, Hannah Baker would sip and savor and then scheme out how to be extra AF from beyond the tomb( I assume ). Pair a clay mask, like Aveda Deep Cleansing Herbal Clay Masque, with any bordeaux. Any betch with combining skin will feel blessed AF use this mask because it draws out impurities from the skin while also absorbing any excess petroleum. FML forever it is not.
5. Wine Cooler+ Anti Aging Mask
It seemed fitting to pair something thats supposed to reclaim your youth with a beverage that no one above the age of 19 drinks. Drunk Elephants T.L.C. Sukari Baby Facial is perfect for any skin type and its main goal is to minimize the looking of fine lines and wrinkles, refine pores, and boost overall clarity and brightnes. And a bonus is that you can now enjoy the wine cooler in the privacy rights of your own home instead of the local Wawa parking lot. Blessings.
6. Pinot Grigio+ Hydrating Mask
Pinot Grigio is basically like water, which is not a fact but only my personal opinionits sun, refreshing, and I drink 8 glass of it a day. Hydrating masks, like Glossiers Moisturizing Moon Mask, run perfectly with Pinot Grigio. Made of almond petroleum, hyaluronic acid, licorice root, lemon fruit, honey, and aloeits divine served chilled( both the wine and the mask) and will freshen the fuck out of your face. But, like, Ive also heard white wine will give you a skin disorder so theres truly conflicting information over here. Like can we get someone on this please? GOP, can we stop trying to ruin the health systems and instead focus on the more important issues at hand, like, is my Pinot Grigio safe ?? K, thx.
7. Tequila Shots+ The Trend Mask
I never advise taking tequila shots because no matter how many articles I read about tequila stimulating your bones healthy or adding years to your life Im convinced its all only fake news. Theres no way that tequila, the same alcohol that my sorority sisters people do body shots with and convinced me to get my belly button penetrated at 20 years old on spring violate, is actually good for you. That being said, youre going to need all the shots when you try out any sort of trend mask thats being pimped out hyped hard by teenagers on Instagram. Especially the Hanacure gel mask because this is the face that will look back at you in the mirror and it is scaring 😛 TAGEND
^^ actual footage of me looking at my reflection rn
But South Koreans did come up with this product so you know its some good shit. It pulls tightly on your skin, totally warping your face until you look old as hell, but when you take off the mask it leaves your skin appearing 10 years younger by reducing wrinkles and your pore sizing.